that don't warrant a page by themselves
or seem to fit better here
pending poems index
chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page
audio files can be complemented by listening to them with the eyes closed
!
discussion
definitions
good
discussion
of
postmodernism
every
generation
is
post
modern
to
itself !
i.e.
fred
without
people
like
you
what
i
write
wouldn't
have
any
any
meaning
the
world
wouldn't
be
the
way
it
fred
without
people
like
you
what
i
write
wouldn't
have
any
any
meaning
suckered
by
pretenders
i
think
i'm
mad
to
care
about
people
who
don't
care
about
themselves
enough
to
do
anything
proactive
for
themselves
that
works !
all
the
fatigue
and
heaviness
what
is
there
to
do?
all
the
fatigue
and
heaviness
what
is
there
to
do?
nothing !
was
a
slow
developer !
was
a
slow
developer !
was
a
slow
developer !
generation
they
seem
to
make
the
same
mistakes !
an
illusion
you
can
just
sit
or
come
to
any
sort
of
understanding !
it
will
not
happen !
the
christian
churches
are
being
wiped
by
their
own
intransigence !
not
a
nice
person ”
isn't
being
a
nice
person
a
bit
of
a
fiction?
not
a
nice
person ”
isn't
a
nice
person
a
bit
of
a
fiction?
a
competent
attractive
male !
with
visions
it's
never
been
important
to
me
that
it
occurs
when
they
do
i
am
surprised
and
it
is
beyond
interest
or
gratification !
if
you
are
seeking
such
a
thing
to
occur
i
think
that's
strongly
inhibitory
of
such
a
thing
ever
occurring !
( ed. last post to donna willams on her blog on my being banned from posting ! )
if only, if only.”
but the “me” doesn't leave me does it?
and zazen just adds to the me !
zen
me
+
dogen
me !
generation
they
seem
to
make
the
same
mistakes !
it's
an
illusion
you
can
just
sit
and
come
to
any
sort
of
understanding
it
will
not
happen !
this
meaningful
or
meaningless ?
this
meaningful
or
meaningless?
is
wasted
it
is
only
disguised
a
s
meaningful !
is
always
wasted
it
is
only
disguised
a
s
meaningful !
to
be
needed
not
striving
not
needed !
like me always forcing myself by giving advice on the web
i strive and if i don't they don't need me
i think it's that you and i are the usually the ones striving to make ourselves acceptable and if we don't the contact falls away
but
nutty
as
a
fruit
bat ”
s
shit
but
sane
as
anybody ! ”
i
had
a
vision
of
mother
teresa
standing
in
front
of
me
in
her
blue
rimmed
sari
with
her
hand
on
my
forehead
it
felt
cold
and
mine
on
hers
and
we
both
told
each
other
it
was
all
a
mess !!!
and
silently
communed for
a
while !
echo
had
this
vision
of
entanglement
my
death
lines
am
going ! ”
do
you
all
have
to
be
as
crazy
a
s
the
rest ?
yes
you
do
have
to
be
as
crazy
as
the
rest !
fuck
there's
enough
bloody
madness
around
isn't
there !
fuck
there's
enough
bloody
madness
around
isn't
there ?
is
the
echo
saying
because
nothing
sour
is
allowed
to
be
reflected
it's
all
sweet ?
i
think
the
thing
is
islam
an
evolution
of
judaism
surprising
in
hindsight
is
it ?
why
do
w
e
always
have
to
be
crushed ?
why
does
life
always
crush
us?
what's
in
the
heart
no-one
knows
tho
it
can
be
written
pretty
clearly
in
the
external
world
what's
in
the
heart
no-one
knows
staring at the wall does nothing, staring at the sea and dusk sky does something !
stalin
said
paper
will
bear
the
weight
of
anything
written
upon
it
like
22,000
men
in
the
polish
officer
corp !
i
am
saying
with
translation
is
there
is
normally
a
huge
degree
of
removal
from
the
original
a
great
translation
of
course
there's
not !
i
am
saying
with
translation
is
there
is
a
huge
degree
of
removal
from
the
original
i'm
not
arguing
you
can
be
schizophrenic
or
you
can
be
sane
your
choice
if
it
is
a
choice !
the
human
male
is
just
like
a
bull
going
over
a
cow
then
what
happens
is
real !
blinds
us !
is
a
god
what
good
is
a
hero
especially
to
himself ?
it's
bad
enough
to
be
noticed
medically
it's
a
real
problem !
dickens
happy
the
children
of
his
first
wife !
is
just
one
long
crucifixion
beginning
to
end
if
we
look
at
it
carefully !
also known as “functional humility”
three
teresa's
teresa
of
ávila
of
lisieux
flower
of
jesus ”
and
mother
teresa
two
saints
and
a
non
saint
all
autistic !
“this means that the twin universe will have the same laws of physics and, in particular, the same notion of time as in ours, the laws of physics will not change because the evolution is always unitary, which is the nicest way a quantum system can evolve. in our analogy, it will look identical to its twin when seen from afar; one could not distinguish them.” singh said.
and
love
is
too
much
of
a
killing
field
i
am
just
a
little
murdered
waif
re
this is what i call a “dual” it's the simultaneous
imposition of two meanings
nothing is a synonym for emptiness so having “a view of emptiness” (also) means you can accomplish emptiness and in fact the very original uttered by nagarjuna would have been this runaway recursion of the actual sense repeating and mirroring down to infinity itself !
rather
elegant
fractal
in
fact !
i think one of the problems with dogen and nagarjuna is a combination of their very recursive writing/speaking style and the removal of very different cultures and what would seem to us rather strange webs of associations inhere-ing/rooted in their medieval (dogen) or ad 200 indian culture actually makes what they write seem over simple and rather spacy and voynichy to us and if in fact they were writing now it would look very like poetry and it's always a great joy and amazing to me when something translates out that reads sensibly and understandably because you know that's what they were writing and not the fake gobbledly gook all the translators with their inept undertanding are pushing as voynich !
homilies
you
are
actually
creating
some-one
who
advises
you
outside
yourself !
with
a
homily
you
are
actually
creating
some-one
who
advises
you
outside
yourself !
the
MMK
it's
written
by
a
human
and
not
the
absolute
truth
men
are
ruled
by
their
testes
women
they
are
ruled
by
their
ovaries !
apparently
it's
only
important
to
appear
to
know
what
emptiness was explained by the victorious ones as the abandonment of all views, itself being a view they then abandoned, so they ceased to declare that those for whom emptiness was a view were incurable or indeed in need of curing or otherwise or even that it meant anything sensible, since it was itself a view !
(ed. MMK chapter 8, verse 13 and my reply! “were incurable” instead of “was” as below !)
emptiness was explained by the victorious ones as the abandonment of all views, itself being a view they then abandoned, so they ceased to declare that those for whom emptiness was a view was incurable or indeed in need of curing or otherwise or even that it meant anything sensible, since it was itself a view !
(ed. MMK chapter 8, verse 13 and my reply!)
the
fundamental true
condition
malfunction
and
unhappiness
in
the
disguise !
you
can't
fix
things
by
trimming
the
things
that
go
wrong
you
can
only
fix
things
by
moving
ahead
in
a
meaningful
direction
and
letting
that
displace
the
other
stuff !
there's
a sufi
who
wrote
about
800
years
ago
infinity
is
a
slut
you
go
to
embrace
her
and
she
puts
a
dagger
through
your
guts !
there's
a sufi
who
wrote
about
800
years
ago
infinity
is
a
slut
you
go
to
embrace
her
and
she
puts
a
knife
through
your
guts !
view
that
zen
has
of
visions
being
makyo
is
what
keeps
it
one
dimensional !
after
sex
it
does
open
the
mind
open
the
minds
after
sex
there
is
a
receptivity
there
after
sex
there
is
a
receptivity
there
it
does
open
the
mind
open
the
minds
or
there
is
a
receptivity
there !
what
we
need
and
what
we
do
can
be
very
different !
what
we
do
and
what
we
need
can
be
very
very
different
things !
a
voice
recorder
widow
a
new
term
a
man
can
be
informed
and
an
expert
on
something
it
doesn't
mean
he
will
a
right
opinion !
man
can
be
informed
and
an
expert
on
something
it
make
him
right
am
slowly
bothering
it's
better
to
get
there
late
than
never !
people
are
not
seeing
things
truely
they
see
things
truely
they
become
unhappy
and
can't
handle
when
you
are
close
to
something
you
can't
see
the
whole
of
it
and
when
you
walk
a
way
you
can !
funny
how
we
can
build
little
worlds
of
meaning
for
ourselves
and
when
we
walk
away
they
look
meaningless
amazing
what
the
body
does
during
sleep
you
go
to
bed
tired
and
you
wake
up
feeling
like
doing
things !
the
body's
like
a
spider's
web
one
link
goes
and
the
others
support
it
is
not
like
a
car !
it's
fortunate
it's
not
100%
but
80 !
somethings
you
can't
explain
or
argue
away
they're
not
going
to
change
you
can
just
minimize
the
friction
the
hassle's
not
worth
it !
people
are
like
blocks
of
ice
you
try
to
teach
them
something
and
they
just
don't
get
it
it's
not
they
don't
know
it's
they
don't
want
to
know
if
they
knew
they
would
become
different
people
and
it's
too
frightening
for
them !
maybe
you
don't
like
yourself
a
s
a
person
and
i
like
myself
as
a
person !
it's
funny
life's
just
this
endless
trauma
that
w
e
always
expect
to
be
otherwise !
a
woman
velcro
to
her
feelings !
that's
always
been
my
problem
actually
being
over-
right
ah
that's
righter
than
people
can
handle !
that's
always
been
my
problem
actually
over-
right
there
are
somethings
in
life
you
should
not
say
they
may
be
true
but
you
should
not
just
say
them !
it's
like
the
orthodox
jews
praying
at
the
wall
in
has
it
got
to
do
with
god
praying
to
a
wall?
it's
like
the
orthodox
jews
praying
at
the
wall
in
with
writing
a
book
is
you
are
always
competing
with
the
vast
amount
of
free
material
on
the
web
some
of
it
quite
good
and
with
orders
of
magnitude
better
distribution
than
your
book
will
ever
have !
with
writing
a
book
is
you
are
always
competing
with
the
vast
amount
of
free
material
on
the
web
some
of
it
quite
good
and
with
orders
of
magnitude
better
distribution
than
the
book
will
ever
have !
you
don't
see
you
don't
want
to
see
and
you
never
will
see !
it's
this
whole
idea
of
voynich
which
is
where
bullshit
is
made
to
appear
it
has
substance !
women
they
call
it
love
call
it
murder !
this bone reads "On guihai (day 60), (the diviner) made cracks and divined: 'In the next 10 days, there will be no disasters.' ")
world
ended
not
with
a
bang
or
a
whimper
but
a
piece
of
spam
zen
is
a
mystical
tradition
like
the
carmelites
or
at
least
should
be !
“the swirling masquerade of life” ! well it's just a swirl, you can call it a connection if you like!
matter
where
you
are
you
are
part
of
that
process
i hope the poor letters remain jumbled but create the illusion of making sensible words
(ed. link is to a photo of the voynichese purported to be the anagram of that translation)
“Hey, come on guys, it's not easy being a 7th Zen Patriarch. There's a lot of responsibilty involved, and the pay's crappy.”
my
reply
what about all the free abuse !
once they surrounded the sixth patriarch in some forest (we would call it bush here in oz) and set it alight, he only escaped because he was able to creep between some rocks and so avoid getting burnt to death !
all he was saying is all i'm saying , that your investment in buddhist ideology (which is what you have done) is worthless and you are quite wrong minded !
in the words of my very good translation of nagajuna, you are punished by being blind, just as i am punished by seeing
you know this which is why you get upset
the trouble is in life i have learnt you have to take the shit with the pearls !
actually
come
together !
(ed. the above is a literal english-sandskrit of the mulamadhyami-kakarika with my translation below)
“ infinity is abitch, in punishment she made the world blind! ”
makes me wonder about gnostic christianity and nagarjuna actually !
i think what's upsetting people is this notion that a revered classic can be voynich !
how much of religious writing is not voynich?
very
little !
the
lesson
from
toni
packer
you
just
compress
and
decompress
and
bust
a
gut
and
your
health
suffers
“ those who can't write, teach. and those who can't teach, translate.”
those who can't translate write
those who can't write
translate
those with egg between the ears teach
those who don't know what egg is practice !
1.2 to exist a thing must be self supporting, fault tolerant, insane
1.3 covered by 1.1
very
hard
to
get
used
to
the
way
religions
will
promulgate
crap
over
thousands
of
years
it
beggars
belief !
think
the
big
advantage
of
anonymous
posting
is
you
see
the
honest
opinions
of
the
poster
without
any
constraint
of
him/her
having
to
conform
to
a
public
position
the
big
disadvantage
is
that
thus
concealed
they
can
rag
the
board
and
engage
in
effective
warfare !
hardcore
zen
blog
perseveration
your
yelling
session
if
you
can
spin
out
of
it
the
right
way
is
the
best
you
can
hope !
i
can
see
they
don't
have
the
fundamental
insight
and
never
will !
yeah
i
cacked
too
much
for
me
too
much
for
infinity
the
hardcore
zen
blog
comments
like
riding
a
bronco
bull
no
matter
how
hard
you
hang
on
you
will
get
tossed
at
some
point
bruised
but
perhaps
better
for
it !
if
you
see
something
very
clearly
you
don't
make
the
same
mistake
again
if
you
don't
see
it
clearly
you
make
the
same
mistake
again !
people
are
way
too
much
work
too
much
processing !
pointless
journey
GOD !
(ed. hardcore zen blog)
i'm
like
brad
warner !
way
happier
with
abuse
than
worship !
i'm
like
brad
warner !
way
happier
with
abuse
than
worship !
step out side the macdonald's religious store !
what i find is you have no appreciation of the work involved or the level of dysfunction in life that occurs
it's a killing field from beginning to end
board (ed. hardcore zen blog)
kills
me
i
don't
have
to
worry
about
more
covert
murders
sneaking
up
on
me !
i
get
off
the
samsara
rail
tracks? ”
i
have
never
been
concious
of
working
at
it
though
i
can
see
in
hindsight
that
i
have !
it
comes
from
a
deep
brain
insight
that
is
either
there
or
not
i
think !
most
people
are
involved
peripherally
lacking
this
deep
insight
or
prayer
or
meditation
are
tools
aren't
they?
something
you
do
conciously
to
facilitate
and
approach
to
buddha
or
the
absolute
or
god
whatever
it
doesn't
work
that
way
only
take
you
in
the
opposite
direction !
zazen
is
a
tool
isn't
it?
something
you
do
conciously
to
facilitate
and
approach
to
buddha
or
the
absolute
or
god
it
doesn't
work
that
way
only
take
you
in
the
opposite
direction !
Ah, come on bro. (ed. fred)
-------------
you don't know and you never will know, will you?
like the rest here, stuff around in the buddhist “tool box” for the rest of your lives
i have sorta spoiled things for you, having come across me and now knowing what “authentic” is, even tho you don't agree you are always going to be dissatisfied and wonder deep down what you are missing !
it seems odd to me that you will never move off your “samsara” railtracks given an opportunity to do so, but that's the way it will be !
enlightenment, like zazen is a false idea that comes from not having crossed the curtain EVER !
it's just a looking from a conventional “tool box” perspective and lacks that strangeness of having been and being on the “other side”
i am glad i appear strange or mad to you, how could it be otherwise : o ) ?
is
just
a
stage
you
go
through
because
you
don't
know
any
better
and
are
captured
by
the
voynich
of
zen !
just
think
the
world
is
all
there
is !
your
adulation
or
abuse
doesn't
mean
anything
to
me
!
when you've been the other side of the curtain everything looks very different so i won't make sense to you
you won't even believe in the possibility which is why zazen seems attractive to you !
it's actually a bit poetic, implying a loss of abilities is quiet which is more a view from infinity !
of course the sheep never think they are wrong even when they go on the truck to the slaughter house !
actually
they
die
still
thinking
they
are
right !
i
had
a
vision
of
your
face
over
the
sea
benign
and
smiling
all sounds very nice perhaps i was dead
it doesn't un fit mine... (ed. vision)
design
means
it
sorta
aligns
with
the
way
people
think !
there's
no
money
in
it
you
may
a
s
well
get
it
right
because
there's
nothing
else
in
it !
a
decent
sleep
is
as
good
a
s
aholiday !
you
are
not
going
to
get
great
intelligence
without
great
stupidity !
zazen
itself
is
the
heresy ”
what
is
meant
by
illumination
a
truely
spiritual
or
poetic
or
visionary
sense
is
quite
different !
“My understanding and practice is based upon quiescence ”
yeah
ALZHEIMERS
this is actually the heresy of “silent illumination”
it's rather fascinating to read the very old criticisms of it, hakuin and the old chan masters and to see the problem they are criticising be so inwired in modern day zen !
this is basically the daydreaming or whatever that kicks in in the absence of external stimulation or activity
what happens in zazen is it just digs a deeper rut
schizophrenia is this default circuit overriding external feedback so you get the characteristic out of touch fixed views !
you'll notice i don't actually say schizophrenia is bad, in fact it's necessary and all the great “spiritual” figures and poets are schizophrenic with this difference
that their fixed and internal views become true, or truely true
so that's what it is about, this trueness of vision and how does that happen?
zazen and “practice” are a facsimile of truth, what matters is the real process and how it occurs i don't actually know!
here we are talking about this on this blog and what is really unique ?
that brad warner unlike any other zen teacher is permitting it, that is he has a real process of being open to what true is
you don't have to agree, you just have to be open to it and permit it to develop !
as i say this is absolutely unique in zen which says alot about how unreal and pretend it usually is !
my personal opinion is that zazen is a root cause of this closemindedness as per my reasoning at the begining !
i think actually it's zazen in combination with a lack of looking around at other writings, poetry so there's nothing to derail the track deepening of the default circuitry
it's not zazen but solitude that's important!
zazen is nothing to do with anything except schizophrenia !
but at least he/they are making money
zen practice and zazen is not a real process either and neither is it making money
am
not
sure
what
is
more
insane !/?
there is some real process
zazen
and
zen practice is not it however !
be
preferable
to
alcohol
or
at
least
less
damaging
if
you
stop
saying
how
things
should
be
and
just
look
at
how
things
are
i
have
always
done
and
am
always
doing
amounts
of
work
of
life
exquisitely
thick
it's all so massively dysfunctional (visualize eckhart tolle bent double by his takings on the way to the bank passing by some squatting beggars squabbling over acorns they can't eat anyway)
that i feel really at home !
it's all so massively dysfunctional (visualize eckhart tolle bent double by his takings on the way to the bank passing by some beggars squabbling over acorns they can't eat anyway)
that i feel really at home !
when you do that you conclusions will be quite different from what they are now !
i
think
women
have
to
see
what
men
are
about
and
that
they
still
need
them
i
think
women
have
to
see
what
men
are
about
and
that
they
need
them
zen's
most
famous
was
schizophrenic
and
got
TB !
is
there
any
connection?
there
are
mechanisms
for
both
the
above !
in other words, eat real foods, no grains and eat good, well-sourced meats. include organ meat and plenty of eggs.”
people
are
ultra
efficient
a big side benefit is brushing off soliciting charities with “oh, i just focus on donating blood thanx : o )”
there's not much they can say to that !
in actual fact even with donating blood four times a year i still have to limit my iron intake from animal foods
i actually have had a death threat, some dao spinning twit going to snipe at me from the hills with depleted uranium bullets
at the end of the day if you don't have health you don't have anything !
cause zazen is very still the lymph doesn't move and i think it was a big factor in dogen getting TB and a lot of the current health issues in long time sitters, with no lymph movement you are going to get cancer more readily and permit stealth viruses and the like to get afoothold
genpo merzel has the right idea, lots of sex and minimal sitting !
genpo if you read this , i will point out you have a right of reply, for the reader, if you see no reply, mr. merzel has flaked out on “big mind” in a way even a child can see !
and totally futile which is very zen : o)
my comment on the heart sutra!
there
was
no
buddha
just
a
s
there
was
no
jesus
christ
tho
life
histories
sayings
or
talks
are
ascribed
to
them
the buddhist canon
is
like
the
christian
tradition
it's
just
the
writings
of
various
people
over
the
ages
the
problem
with
writing
is
it
takes
about
10
years
to
get
any
good !
do
i
like
it
do
i
dislike
it
do
i
want
to
spike
it ?
it is the darkness and the light
the emptiness and the fullness
the crap and the diamonds
suicide and death
babies
smile
a teenager's
angst
and
old
man's
guile
it is the darkness and the light
the emptiness and the fullness
the crap and the diamonds
suicide and death
babies
smile
a teenagers
angst
and
old
mans
guile
your
own
thoughts
however
impoverished
are
worth
a
billion
times
somebody
else's
blurge !
taking this stuff for what an actual historical sakyamuni said is like taking a a painting of christ as being of an actual historical jesus !
that
took
me
a
while
to
work
out
you
all
want
it
too
quick
you'll
die
gagging
on
it
disciples
these
guys
are
not
idiots
they
are
highly
specialised
in
using
people
disciples
these
guys
are
not
idiots
they
are
highly
specialised
in
using
you
i'm
always
taking
shortcuts
that
compromise
the
final
result !
WWII
the
german
artillery
was
shockingly
good
and
particularly
devastating
on
the
eastern
front
if
the
war
had
depended
on
artillery
they
would
have
won
but
it
didn't
so
they
lost !
if
there's
flare
ups
at
work
it's
going
to
flow
through
to
you !
